Shart Select – Guns: the HD Remaster

Recorded on the 9th February 2020


Winst0lf, Stuart and Ryan.

In the immortal words of Professor Farnsworth, “good news everyone!”, our episode companion pieces are back! In these I’ll have a bit of a look over the corresponding episode and let you know what shenanigans we got up to.

What happened this week?

Well, the Egertons went on holiday (or vacation, for our Stateside friends) up in Aviemore in the Scottish highlands. The boys confirmed that Scotland does indeed survive solely off Irn Bru and Stu thinks Trainspotting is a documentary. Poor Glasgow. In the meantime, I’ve moved our old written pieces over to my blog (which you are in right now), so check them out if you haven’t already!

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How Stu sees all of Glasgow (sorry Glasgow)…

Ryan’s Surprise

We were treated to a double whammy of AI scripts from our handsome boy this week. Ryan hit us with an advert for Olive Garden first, which got a bit deep, and followed up with a charming pastiche of The Antiques Roadshow, a favourite with old people everywhere. Even typing it out makes me hear that bloody theme tune…

Good show Ryan, good show, I’d value it at about…. £30?

The Main Feature

This week we revisited the theme from our second ever episode, in which Ryan and I recorded with a dank ass Chinese mic and Stu accidentally used his laptop’s mic instead of the big posh one he’d just bought. That and we were new, and crap.

Anyway, we took another shot (hur hur) at discussing guns from video games, like Clarence Boddicker in RoboCop. Is the flak cannon from Unreal Tournament better than the super shotgun from Doom? What the ever-loving Christ is a “steak gun” Stu? Have a listen and check it out (and count how many times Ryan gets all surly).

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Big, yellow and terrifying!

The Wizard’s Tower

Here is our tier system so far, with all games in their places. This week we added Dino Crisis (it’s Good), Prey 2017 (Thicc) and, with not a small amount of help from Ryan, Stu gormlessly articulated that he liked Apex Legends (Good), like that Gorilla from Congo.


We were going to ask the Wizards to do a comedy “leaving the tower” thing, but they’d all buggered off to Starbucks, so screw them.

Who am I?

“Who am I” is our weekly competition, in which you have to guess which video games character I am from a rather flowery description. Who was last week’s cahracter? It was…

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Red, from gen 1 Pokemon! Not bloody Ash…

Here is this week’s:

“Don’t let my small size fool you, I am a harbinger of Armageddon. All of your belongings will be claimed, your petty systems will be brought into disarray. With a chilling honk I will cast down society in its current form. Get too close and I will break your arm”

Reckon you know? Message Stu at @shartselectpod on twitter and let him know!

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You right now, probably.

And that was it for this week. Don’t forget to give us a listen on whichever podcasting thingy you use and please give these cute little fellows a slick review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser, cheers ears.

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